This promise... can I keep it?

Salam again.

I sorta promised myself that I ain't gonna be all broken heart(ed) if our (me and Adib) relationship didn't work out and can't be saved anymore...

I sorta promised myself that I won't turn back to Adib if he met someone that he really like and they finally decided to be together (marry and stuff like that)..

I sorta promised myself that I'm only protecting(?) someone's jodoh (in this case, the Adib) so whenever and wherever he doesn't want me anymore, I must move on and continue with my life as it is and never cling on Adib and act all poor, pity and stuff coz that is so damn PATHETIC Syazwani.. like pls dun.....hbis la my dignity... haih...

I sorta also promised myself that I won't be keeping any grudge against Adib coz whatever happened between us were all in the past and maybe we weren't matured enough so that's why we did these and those, so these and those ain't Adib's fault alone, they were also mine, so no grudging pls..

I sorta promised myself to always stay strong and wish for the best for Adib coz he deserved the best, and maybe the best ain't me, so wani mohon kena start sedar diri coz please... not that pathetic again k..

Maybe we just aren't meant for, in this life.. Maybe we just meant to cross path with each other.
Maybe...

Tutup salam.